Listening from the Heart
Do You Know How to Listen Deeply? To others? To yourself? Your soul?
So many of us have forgotten how to truly listen. We’ve been seduced by cell phones and apple watches, sound bytes and bits that create a constant background noise that distracts us and prevents us from truly listening and responding.
Yet, true listening is at the heart of all relationships, especially in spiritual direction, or companioning. Listening is the gift of pure presence. It is what we experience when the one listening to us becomes a quiet, safe container where we feel safe to take off our mask and share the truth of who we are; our struggles, our disappointments, our hopes, and our dreams. It is a connection of souls that goes beyond the words spoken. It is this quality of spiritual listening that has a healing effect, not only allowing us to trust and listen to our own knowing and intuition, but helping us improve the quality of listening in all our relationships. We can become a listening presence for others.
How do we become a listening presence?
To listen with depth, we must begin to cultivate an inner quiet and stillness that creates a calm and reassuring space where those we accompany feel free to speak from their heart, and know that they are being welcomed and received exactly as they are. Yet, in order to listen to someone else’s heart, we must be in touch with our own vulnerable heart. How do we do that?
Listening with the heart is an embodied practice of dropping out of the judgmental comparing mind, so we can listen and receive another from a place of love and acceptance. The heart centre is an important source of intuition and wisdom in many spiritual traditions. In yoga, the heart chakra is known as Anahata, the unstruck or unhurt space within, associated with compassion and unconditional love. Episcopal priest, Cynthia Bourgeault describes the heart as an “organ of spiritual perception.” The heart sees from a place of wholeness and connection, instead of separation.
Listening from the heart takes practice. For me it begins in the quietness of my meditation practice, placing my awareness in the center of my chest, and noticing my breath there. As I breathe in, the breath creates a feeling of space and lightness. As I breathe out, I soften and begin to dissolve feelings of constriction, of busyness, of protection, of attachment, of comparison, of “me” versus “them”. I create space to listen to my own feelings and inner knowing, so I can become an accepting space that can listen and receive others, however they show up, and with whatever they may have to say.
This kind of listening in spiritual direction, allows us to listen across diverse backgrounds, different cultures, religions, and belief systems. It is about listening to understand, rather than listening to reply or convince or cajole. It is about listening without thinking about what we’re going to say next. It is about listening with an open mind and a loving heart, curious, and attentive not only to the words themselves, but to the tone and timbre of voice, and the nuances of body language. It is this kind of listening where we discover a deeper, sacred connection, not only with each other, but with the all-pervasive Divine Source of Love that flows in and through all things. Perhaps listening deeply is another word for love.
When we know how to listen from the heart centre, it not only allows us to access a deeper knowing, it invites the one being listened to, to listen at a deeper level, so they can begin to trust in their own intuition and knowing. Listening with the heart leads to new understandings both individually, and collectively in conversations and groups. Through this kind of deep listening, we discover both common ground and diversity, that creates infinite new possibilities. We all can become a listening presence for each other for whatever wants to emerge into the world.
